One of the biggest parts of travel sports, is the level of the parents involvement during practices and games. This is a difficult and very thin line to walk as both a coach and parent, but a line that needs to be walked well by both in order to make for a successful travel team and program. I feel I am in a unique position to access both the positive and negative aspects as both a player and now as a coach. This is not a how-to-be-a-travel-parent guide, nor is this critiquing your parenting ability, this is simply the view from the other side of the fence, or outside the lines. Travel ball experiences range greatly between every player and every family. The level of the parents involvement can result in how positive or negative your experience will be.
From the View of a Coach
With coaching multiple travel teams within multiple age groups, I have found a few key characteristics of positive parent involvement. As a travel ball parent, treat the coach and or facility with respect. This doesnt mean saying yes sir or no mam, this boils down to something even simpler. Be the parent who says hello, and how are you doing to the coach or members of the facility. Its surprising how nice it is to be treated as a person rather than a rigid evaluator of talent.
Be a positive influence around other parents. Just by avoiding gossip, or not trying to evaluate 11 year olds that are not your own. Misery loves company, and positivity ensures that does not happen. As a parent, be realistic. Unrealistic expectations for your sons or daughters experience, will never be happy. Those that are realistic and realize this is a learning experience for continual personal growth along with the sport are the ones that take the most away from the travel ball experience.
Support your child
If they ask for extra practice time or lessons and you have the means to do so, give it to them. It is usually the kids that want to put in the extra work that are the most successful and they feed off positive encouragement from those they admire most, parents! Respectful, hardworking, uplifting and understanding parents are the fabric of successful children and successful travel organizations.
Travel Teams and Parents
Too often, travel ball or teams get a bad rap from one or two bad seeds. There is nothing more potentially frustrating as a travel coach than parents involvement. Sometimes parents involvement can be over involved. By over involved, I mean the helicopter parents who are constantly hovering around the bench, meetings, or practices. These parents typically carry their sons or daughters equipment, hand extra Gatorades through the fence, and ask the coach every day what my son or daughter can do better. As a parent who is constantly hovering around, coaches do not have a chance to coach the way they would like. The kid will definitely look to the parent for instruction rather than the coach, or the coach is afraid he may say something wrong and this parent will send a nasty-gram email to his boss. Ideally, a parent who watches from a distance during games, and drops their kid off and picks them up from practice without lingering around typically have the best experience. Dont be the parent that yells and screams instructions at your child during practice or the game.
Communication from Multiple Directions
As a player, its hard enough listening to one or two coaches let alone another you feel you have to please screaming out instructions while youre trying to hit, or shoot a free throw. Think about it this way, you are paying this travel organization to coach and teach your child, be a parent and let them do just that. A child, who is afraid of what their parent may yell, will get nothing out the coaching from anyone else. Coaches may not be experts in their field, but they do have far more experience in that sport than most. Allow the coach to do what they are trained to do.
Think about it this way: what do you enjoy, maybe as a hobby? Lets say you love fishing. What do you like about it? The ability to get away and unwind? The excitement of every cast? Whatever the reason I am sure you enjoy it. Now lets see why your child likes to play baseball, or volleyball, or soccer. Odds are its because it is fun and they enjoy it. Would you enjoy fishing as much if there was someone standing next to you yelling about how your last cast was? Or constantly complaining about the fisherman to your left or right? Or continually asking why the last fish got away? Its the same thing for your kids! Do you thing they enjoy being yelled at or criticized or ridiculed in front of their friends and teammates. Do they want to constantly be reminded of the spike they hit out in the first set or the ground ball that rolled between their legs, or the strike they just let go right down the middle? The answer is NO! You wouldnt want someone to ruin what you enjoy, so dont ruin what someone else enjoys.
The Love for the Game
Throughout my years as a player and a travel ball coach, I can say I genuinely love teaching kids and molding them towards a successful future both on and off the field. Coaches do not have it out for certain kids or certain parents; they do the best they can with the child earning the playing time they are given. Potentially, as the parents involvement increases, the risk of your child losing interest in the game they love increases too. If you can be a positive role model for your child and appreciate the process, you will have a very successful travel season and raise very successful children. Kids love sports, dont be the parent that takes that love away!